Are we “born” dominant or submissive?

Interesting question!

A lady raised the question of “how did subs get their foot fetish”. It’s one I’ve heard often. I’ve thought of it long and hard – no pun.

So my thoughts –

I don’t think we are born as gay, lesbian, switch, any of those labels I ultimately don’t really believe in – because as I have rightly said so many times, sexuality is always shades of grey. Never just X and Y. The most dominant folks have a submissive side and vice versa. You truly have to walk a mile in the other person’s shoes to truly “get it”.

Most new to BDSM think being a Dom is the best and easiest.

Not true.

You have to truly understand your sub and for that YOU have to understand their thought processes,be in THEIR mind, shoes so to speak – FIRST.

That’s why a lot of pro and very successful Dommes started out as rank subs. And vice versa.

True servitude goes beyond gender too. The sole, the foot, asshole – these things are universal. The traditionally “dirtiest” part of the bodies socially and Practically speaking. There is a reason it’s so nice when Bhagwati massages my feet sitting on the FLOOR with my leg up on her shoulder in that PROFOUND pose I write about so much!

Or, if I do hers. Or his.

It’s not “gay” per se.

I grew up in a very feminist matriarchal household.

Feet were always something I was into. I can’t even remember when – but from a very young age.

Even before I understood the sexual aspect of it.

Comes naturally.

I’d say I’d probably be into domination growing up if I grew up in a patriarchal society.

Yet – they call me the Emperor now.

For someone that was ashamed of his feet growing up for whatever reason – feet people can’t get enough of now – even “straight guys” gravitate to them over women’s soles. Truly as Carol said, “your foot just like girls”. Perfect match of yin and yang.

I remember saying growing up “but i don’t want to show my feet”.

Social influence. Plus hidden sexual desires I couldn’t address then so they manifested as “being embarassed” as a cope. That’s why I say it should all be open. Those hidden desires we all have.

Same thing with my dick. Different from the norm!

Even now, I’ve never been served in the most humiliating manners possible that I have for others.

Do I want it?

Now, perhaps. Yes.

I always did.

But that’s because I had never really met people truly into bdsm done right that understand the concept of “give and take”.

And even now, when being served, I’m extremely nice by default. It’s my nature…

Ultimately service done right is not humiliating. It might seem so but in the right settings, no.

Perhaps that’s why as I’ve mentioned in A complete guide to understanding dominant ladies from mainland China – and the affirmations – the most dominant ladies were actually “hesitant” to dominate me initially!

If you truly like her, you’ll naturally want to serve her.

She will feel it.

So will she.

I think societal expectations shape a lot of this too.

The wheel always comes full circle.

And it has for me and continues to.

Rank submissive to brutal Dom, everything in the middle …

So for those of you wondering – those are my thoughts.

Merry sexy Christmas to all of you.

I wish you a great ending to the year and a solid 2025.

Remember, SSC over all.

That’s the key.

And that’s that.

Best

Mike Watson