Reporting to Madam Yiyi!

Perfect Madam Yiyi, I should say!

Yet another one of those lovely damsels in China that has truly weaved a spell over me – right from the minute I MET HER!

Actually, I think I met her years ago, but then as I saw her WeChat the other day in group – I had to add her again!

And so I did.

Then after I added her … I started chatting with her.

One thing led to another, we spoke, and of course, sissy topics … like house work, foot massage, and nailpolish were on the top of the list!

“I always so tired”, Madam keeps complaining ! (while driving). 

She doesnt text me – which I prefer.

Madam sends voice notes!

After all Madam can practice her English for free with me, hehe.

Her pronunciation is so cute as well! Hehe.

And I keep saying that …

But anyway, Madam is always busy, always tired … always driving!

“Madam you need a shoulder massage more than foot”, I often tell her.

Ya’ll on this remember Carol, no?

And massaging her RIGHT FOOT MORE!

“Because my right foot need more, always on brake, boy!” 

Its not a stick shift (Carol’s car). Hehe. If it was, Madam would need her calves rubbed as well – trust me, some of the traffic snarls Ive been in, my calves literally CRAMPED From all the “stick shifting!”

Not that my own stick doesnt shift a lot anyway, hehe. Madam does a fine job of that !!

Anyway, I keep telling Ma’am to get foot massages, to relax more.

Instead, yesterday, she did three hours of housework!

Yours truly sissy was astounded – and so SAD!

“Madam, I’m so sorry! You should never have to do any housework!”

She replied with …

“I don’t like, boy! It’s life, have to do!” 

True – until now, hehe.

She then spoke about getting on Tik Tok, doing business together etc.

Remember, money is most important!

And then we didnt do it, and then …

“I need sleep again!” 

Madam was so tired again!

And every time she says that, I want to press her feet as she sleeps!

After she woke up, she did an English class – oddly enough, lots of politics in the news that her teacher shared with her.

Something about Trump, anti Asian hate and such, we wont even get into that (personally, I think Trump loves the US – he’s a patriot).

But anyway …

I sent her a picture of myself doing pull-ups like a friend of mine – you know which one! 😉 – taught me.

A hanging leg raise, no less, one of the most tough for a person to do.

(and with Ma’am constantly lamenting about the “wrinkles on her face” and so forth … well! Hehe. And “I’m too fat!”)

I told her to do it too.

” I do yoga!” 

Which is not good for weight loss, but she’s Madam, so I left it at that!

Then, the comments came in thick and fast!

“Are you really American!” 

“Why you talk to me SO MUCH!

“Why you always have time for ME!”

“Why you not monkey at school like other foreigners, why you dont do trading business!”

Remember, for the Chinese for the most part, expats are either dancing monkeys or “running trading businessses”. Hehe.

And while Yiyi keeps talking politics with me, she also says the following.

“We no need talk politics! No safe!”

“If we talk too much politics, policeman will come to my House, visit me, make me stay police station for 24 hours, I go crazy!”

she was referring to the famous 0r not, depending upon how you look at it Chinese “state tracking” i.e. everything is pretty much tracked by China.

Which hardly matters, of course, in practical terms unless you’re talking politics.

I tried explaining to her I wasn’t the one bringing political topics up, she was, but of course, she was having none of it.

“Ma’am, you’re so suspicuous”, I giggled. 

But I dont blame her…

The Chinese have been programming their own citizens for years to be exactly that – suspicious of foreigners in general – and it was already bad enough anyway i.e. foreign devils, even qualified ones like me, were never welcome in China.

Read Mark Kitto’s piece on “you’ll never be Chinese!” 

I think, as Princess Sophia once todl me, “I talk to yo ujust like Chinese, not polite like expat!” – I’m the closest there’ll ever be (in terms of expats being “Chinese”).

She meant she tells me the REAL DEAL, not the nonsense Chinese tell most expats.

Yiyi Ma’am also keeps asking me this –

“My last American boss tell me my pronunciation very poor, but you understand, you not American!” 

Which is all very strange, but the suspicion stems from China’s campaign – state led, again- with posters everywhere and such – which show handsome and charming foreign devils “romancing Chinese women” – and then persuading them to part with state secrets, which is the most laughable thing I’ve ever heard.

First thing you know, they aren’t exactly innocent.

They’re SMART!

Always on the outlook for MONEY, boy!


Princess JOANIE!

Madam, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And they KNOW how to keep a man on his toes, and under foot!

Not the other way around!

Of course, try telling that to China with its anti expat campaign, and in CHina, even people that are well traveled like Yiyi is usually fall prey to this mental programming out the wazoo.

Anyway …

What really “broke the camek’s back”?

“Send me your passport, boy!” 

Now, this is nothing new.

The lovely Carol, after being in bed with me, asked me the same thing. Hehe.

I showed her, though I didnt quite understand why she wanted to see it, but from a certain standpoint, I did.

We were planning upon marrying eventually, so .. (at that ime) … so, I sort of get it.


But Yiyi, I haven’t even met Madam.


Anyway …

Pre conceived notions, passports and so forth …

That is the tale for perfect Madam Yiyi – for now!

I’m sure I’ll be back with more tomorrow!

Until then – be sure to pick up some tales of Chinese femdom – truly as scintillating as anything you’ll ever read!


Mike Watson

PS – I kept asking her, Madam, how could I just send my passport over to someone I didnt even meet!

But it’s clear.


Lock, STOCK, Barrel – and passport – much like a maid in the Middle East, hehe. OF course, my “darker” skin tone to her means I’m just that.

Madam, you’re SO NICE!

I’m off to talk to her now again, hehe.

PPS – What I didnt mention, my LONG hair really did it. Hehe.

“Long hair have bad boy!” she went, giggling. 


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